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[02 Dec 2002|07:30am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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I came to the school a few minutes late for my meeting, which wasn't even today. So I came to school at 3:15 for no fucking reason. grawr. hate school. hate mornings.
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[20 Nov 2002|04:18pm] |
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I had something that I thought that I needed out of my system written down, but my computer is mean so it is gone and no one can read it because I don't feel like writting again. Probably later tonight.
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| please not again... |
[17 Nov 2002|03:28pm] |
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I was sitting online because I haven't been on since Tuesday and my cell phone started ringing so I went and answered I figured it would be my parent's asking what time I had to be at the game and whatnot, but no, it was even worse. My mom called to tell me that my grandma is sick and they were on there way to pick me up so I can go visit her. All I can think about is back in 8th grade when my grandpa was sick with a "flu" and died almost a year later. Oh no no no no no! Please not right now. Oh I have to go help my parent's with groceries and then be on my way.
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| whew! |
[13 Nov 2002|12:00am] |
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I was at Mandy's house after the game and I sat there for like an hour. It took my parent's that long to come and pick me up, and the worst thing, they blamed it on me. And I wish my dad would stop smoking in my mom's new jeep because now the jeep(we haven't even had for like 3 weeks)smells like smoke. So does my house that we have lived in for a few weeks. He says that he always goes in the garage or in the basement to smoke, but I don't believe him. I bet when no one is home he sits on the couch and chain-smokes all day. Oh I wouldn't dougt it. And I am in a terrible mood, and I told my mom I wanted to be home schooled. She might even let me! How great would that be?!?!?! I wouldn't have to deal with school, the people, the sluts, the teachers, the homework, just have to deal with what pair of p.j.'s I should wear when my teacher shows up. That would probably help my grades too because I learn better when it is one-on-one. psh. I am going to go to bed now because I am tired and tomarrow I will never be able to get up.
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| ::why must one be so sad:: |
[08 Oct 2002|10:36pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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Reading people's thoughts and actions is really starting to scare me. Everyone is seeming to get more and more depressed as life passes us all. I wish I could say that I am one of the few still happy with life, but I am not. It just worries me. Sitting here staring at my screen learning how people truly feel is upsetting me. Tears are filling my eyes as I hear of Colleen's new "escape" as one would call it. I want to help her, but I am too scared for her. I am too scared for myself. With everything in my family and my life, I feel like I have to worry about other people as well. I am just lost at words at this moment.
If I was a genie I would grant everyone happiness.
Not just myself, but everyone in the world.
No one deserves to be sad.
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| confusion sets in the bran |
[06 Oct 2002|01:17am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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superjulius4: do you realize that in everyone's journal...no one has anything positive to say anymore...i mean not even mine. mine used to be really fun and nice
superjulius4: maybe i should make mine fun just for once
Today everything went exactly as I wanted it to happen. Everything was perfect. Perfect, all the way down to the way my socks matched my shade of nailpolish I am wearing. Although it was a bit nipply, I had friends and family to make me feel warm with love. We got along perfect and I had the best day of my life!!!
Or not...
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[24 Sep 2002|09:18pm] |
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What is your Alter-Ego
Personality?
This is oddly me, and I even have a hidden journal of my most personnal thoughts and ideas...I think I am going to copy it and pass it to everyone...kind of like in Cruel Intentions.
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| note time |
[23 Sep 2002|04:45pm] |
In case you didn't know Sarah my bitch has gotten a livejournal on my command go look at it even thought she hasn't received her computer from her mean neighbor.
www.livejournal.com/users/xxsarbearxx
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| note to everyone: |
[19 Sep 2002|04:11pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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music |
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the hives |
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ALL HAPPY COUPLES SHOULD DIE BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL EVIL!!!
Love always,
Amanda Nicole Wise
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| as the tear falls down my cheek i feel worthless in the world of friends |
[15 Sep 2002|01:07pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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Once again I have been betrayed by my so called "friends" that decided to leave me out of another fun time. I don't think I have been truly this pissed before, usually I would talk about how much I hate someone by not saying their names but COLLEEN AND HER BITCH FRIEND KRISTI have really pushed their limit. I hung out with them almost everyday during the summer and now that I live in the country they think I can never get a ride in town I guess, but in reality I can get one any fucking time I want. yea I feel like I only have a few close friends that would be willing to come out and visit me, Kristi won't visit me because I am not in town and I don't have a clan of guys following me where ever I go and Colleen won't do anything without Kristi. Anywho...I guess Stan had this party thing Sat. and of course I wasn't invited, but Kristi and Colleen could have at least asked me to come instead they talk about it right in front of me. YEA YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOO COOL BECAUSE YOU GET DRUNK AT PARTIES AND DO THE DRUGS!!!!!! I have truly never met anyone as cool as you too...honestly! Jeez, please tell me I never acted like this when I was in the phase of drinking and smoking...please!
Goal: Find new friends to replace bitch friends that I have now!!!!
oh yea....I hope they both read this because I want them to know that I hate them both as of now...i feel like the bitch...yea i don't hate you just really really angry
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| outdoor fun... |
[08 Sep 2002|12:11am] |
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Well today was a blissful day I guess...well I got to be out of of the house for a little bit. I had to play pep band for out lovely football team(12 to like 56...we lost), watched the poms perform their x-rated dance, and got to toot my bass clariney(sorry mandy but our music is now long gone seeing that it flew away with the wind...hehe bring clothes pins). Then I was asked if I wanted to go to Henry's house and enjoy pizza and swimming. I didn't really want to swim with my water phobia and all(I can barely swim) so I sat at the table for a few minutes and then they started threatening to push me in..meanies. So I went in anyway. blah blah blah...swam and ate pizza. Then Mandy, Henry, and Shaun walked(more like ran and rode a bike and I walked behind) me to the church to meet my ride. Now I am home talking to Colleen about how she got high....I MEAN.........
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[04 Sep 2002|04:53pm] |
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well i haven't updated in a while so i shall make it short because i got some food to eat and some movies to watch. life sucks and i hate this house i have to life in more every day. except now i get to come home to this house and go in my bedroom and see my brand new BASS GEETAR!!!! who's excited for me? yea i was doing some scales and my next goal is to grow longer fingers...hmmm i wonder if that is possible. oh well...i got my yearbook and if anybody wants to sign it...then your gonna have to tell me so i can pass it around!
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| school sucks ass |
[12 Aug 2002|01:25pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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My new school schedule:
A DAYS:
1-World History
2-Homeroom
3-Workplace Rediness(don't know if I spelt that right)
4-Spanish
5-Algebra
B DAYS:
1-Band
2-Homeroom
3-P.E.
4-English
5-Physical Science
hmmm....does anyone have any classes with me?
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| well...we are just two cool cats |
[31 Jul 2002|04:04am] |
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mood |
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 hot |
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music |
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watching clueless |
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Ok, I haven't updated in a little while so I figured I could write a little. This weekend I am officially moving out by diversatech. It is kind of sinking into me that I am going to be living there through high school, but I don't like to think about it all that much. Lately I haven't really been in the mood for much of anything. Just crying and not wanting to talk to anyone. I think I am going to call Sarah tomarrow and ask if she wants to stay over tomarrow and help me pack for moving and stuff. She is nice like that and would be more than happy to do that. Well I am going to go to bed, I am getting tired finally.
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[29 Jul 2002|01:25am] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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I am crying for you again...why don't you notice me?
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| why do i do this to myself |
[27 Jul 2002|11:44pm] |
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mood |
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antisocial??? |
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music |
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the get up kids |
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Today I have been thinking about a lot of stuff. Like moving and living where I don't want to live, and this one person, and, don't know why, basketball. I am not sure if I even want to do basketball anymore. It was fun for a little bit, but now it is just a hassle. Yea...whatever! Today I am in just one of those moods where I hate the world and I feel like the world hates me back. I hate when I get into these moods. Sometimes I want to die, but then I remember that I am just going through a day phase and try to stop thinking about that. Even my cousins said that I looked sad when I went to visit them. Maybe that is why I am sad, because I had to go to my cousins house and spend the day with my aunt and uncle who hate me and think that I am a bad influence. First of all I may have done bad things but I am not going to teach my cousins that. Or maybe because I am alone and all I want is a boyfriend. Don't know why, I just really want one. Or maybe me moving to this new house. Away from town which I really like being in because I have more stuff to do here. I don't know why, I just hope that tomarrow I feel better.
I am getting my hair cut in two weeks. Any ideas???
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| clean rooms are so blissful....:P |
[25 Jul 2002|02:04pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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incubus |
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Well I hung out with Rachel P. again. She is really nice and fun to hang out with. I think she is coming over today, don't know what we are going to do yet, but I am sure we will have fun.
Kristi has this thing for Josh(the guy that just moved here)and he has a thing for her. She was supposed to come over but she is going to hang out with him. I don't mind because if it was me I would rather go hang out with him too. This will be Kristi's 2nd boyfriend this summer. Jeez...
I think I am going to call Sarah and see if she wants to come over or something. If anybody wants to come over, just stop by!!!!!
Oh yea...I made myself a shirt last night because I was bored. Well didn't make it, just made it look pretty. I found an old black tank top and cut out stars from my star fabric and sewed them on. That made me proud of myself. teehee...
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| woohoo there is food in my house |
[22 Jul 2002|04:03pm] |
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mood |
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shocked |
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music |
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boy meets world |
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Well today Rachel Peterson called me. I was surprised, and I said that I would do something with her, but I don't feel like doing anything tonight. When I call her I will make up some excuse. Oh well!
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| crumbling down the stairs |
[21 Jul 2002|09:22pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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box car racing |
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I have a new cell phone now.
I was really excited about it
But now that I have it I am not.
Oh well
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superjulius's journal